14 Habits Of
Exceptionally Likable People |
| Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby in "The Great Gatsby." |
Personal branding
through social media may help you build your professional network, but there
will never be a replacement for a charismatic personality.
Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich" — one of the
top-selling books of all time — wrote about the habits of the most likable
people in his essay "Develop A Pleasing Personality," published in
the forthcoming collection "The Science of Success."
He introduced his
steps to having a "million-dollar personality" by explaining it was
steel magnate Charles M. Schwab's charming demeanor that in the late 19th
century elevated him from day laborer to an executive with a $75,000 salary and
a frequent million-dollar bonus (astronomical numbers for the time).
Schwab's boss,
the legendary industrialist Andrew Carnegie said "the yearly salary was
for the work Schwab performed, but the bonus was for what Schwab, with his
pleasing personality, could get others to do," Hill writes.
Here are Hill's
14 habits of people who are so likable that others go out of their way to help
them:
1. They develop a positive mental attitude and
let it be seen and felt by others.
It's often easier
to give into cynicism, but those who choose to be positive set themselves up for success and
have better reputations.
2. They always speak in a carefully disciplined,
friendly tone.
The best
communicators speak deliberately and confidently, which gives their voice a
pleasing sound.
3. They pay close attention to someone speaking
to them.
Using a
conversation as an opportunity to lecture someone "may feed the ego, but
it never attracts people or makes friends," Hill says.
4. They are able to maintain their composure in
all circumstances.
An overreaction
to something either positive or negative can give people a poor impression. In
the latter case, says Hill, "Remember that silence may be much more
effective than your angry words."
5. They are patient.
"Remember
that proper timing of your words and acts may give you a big advantage over
impatient people," Hill writes.
6. They keep an open mind.
Those who close
themselves off from certain ideas and associate only with like-minded people
are missing out on not only personal growth but also opportunities for
advancing their careers.
7. They smile when speaking with others.
Hill says that
president Franklin D. Roosevelt's greatest asset was his "million-dollar
smile," which allowed people to lower their guards during conversation.
8. They know that not all their thoughts need to
be expressed.
The most likable
people know that it's not worth offending people by expressing all their
thoughts, even if they happen to be true.
9. They don't procrastinate.
Procrastination
communicates to people that you're afraid of taking action, Hill says, and are
therefore ineffective.
10. They engage in at least one good deed a day.
The best
networkers help other people out without expecting anything in return.
11. They find a lesson in failure rather than
brood over it.
People admire
those who grow from failure rather than wallow in it. "Express your
gratitude for having gained a measure of wisdom, which would not have come
without defeat," Hill says.
12. They act as if the person they are speaking
to is the most important person in the world.
The most likable
people use conversations as an opportunity to learn about another person and
give them time to talk.
13. They praise others in a genuine way without
being excessive.
"Praise the
good traits of others, but don't rub it on where it is not deserved or spread
it too thickly," Hill says.
14. They have someone they trust point out their
flaws.
Successful people
don't pretend to be likable; they are likable because they care about
their conduct and reputation. Having a confidant who can be completely honest
with them allows them to continue growing.
Ret. 5-5-15
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