Showing posts with label Resilience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Resilience. Show all posts

Monday, January 6, 2014

O. J. Brigance and Perseverance

Quitting is never an option--absolutely incredible story and inspiration!

A must-share story followed by discussion with your mentee(s).  Click the link below to view the CBS video.


(CBS News)     The simple act of holding a football is no longer possible for the man who's the heart and soul of the Baltimore Ravens.  What he CAN do is inspire and motivate his team by his very presence and example.   Here's Rita Braver:

He is the man with the smile that won't quit . . . surrounded by family and friends as he celebrates his 44th birthday. 

But O.J. Brigance has lived a life of stark contrasts. This former pro football player who sports a sparkling Super Bowl ring is now paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair.

"I learned a life lesson through football early on," he told Braver. "I learned that quitting is never an option."

Stricken with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, a disease that progressively attacks the nervous system, Brigance must take every breath through a ventilator, communicate every thought through a computer-generated voice.

He described the system: "It tracks the movement of my pupils and allows me to type with my eyes, like others type with their fingers."

Born and raised in Houston, Brigance played football for Rice University, then the Canadian Football League, and finally in 1996, number 57 made it to the NFL.

He played first for the Miami Dolphins, then joined the Baltimore Ravens in 2000. They went on to win their first-ever Super Bowl that year.

Brigance made the first tackle of the game.  "I remember seeing the thousands of flashbulbs sparkling in the night. It was my dream come to reality," he said. "

Still, the team didn't re-sign him after that big win. 

He played a few more years for other teams, but -- plagued by a longtime back problem -- decided to retire in 2003.

That's when the Ravens called him back -- this time to be a counselor to players, and a spokesman for the team.

His wife Chanda was by his side through it all. Married for 20 years, they still joke about their first meeting; she thought he was poorly dressed, and kept ignoring him.

"Why did you keep going after her when she didn't seem interested?" Braver asked.

"Didn't need to be dressed because I had the goods!" he laughed.

Their life seemed golden until, while playing racquetball over the course of a few weeks in 2007, Brigance began to notice increasing weakness in his right arm when swinging the racquet.

Then Chanda noticed something, too:
"It was one night, and O.J. was asleep and something just woke me up," she said. "I felt his muscles just jumping."

After a battery of tests, doctors diagnosed ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease (after the major league baseball player).

"The biggest shocker was that ALS was a fatal disease, with a two- to five-year prognosis," Brigance said.

That was six years ago.

O.J. Brigance has not only outlived predictions, but also become the heart of the Baltimore Ravens, continuing to counsel and rally the team, even as his health was declining.

Even as he lost the ability to speak on his own.

Brigance still goes to the office five days a week. He says it gives him a reason to wake up each day.

"You seem so upbeat despite all of this," said Braver. "Do you ever get angry and frustrated?"

"I have experienced times where I have been overcome by the weight of the diagnosis," Brigance replied. "But once I dried my tears and stopped feeling sorry for myself, I realized that God had given me the strength to handle this assignment."

But year after year, Ravens head coach John Harbaugh has always believed in Brigance.

"Some of his counsel now is just by who he is, just by his life, by his presence, by how he attacks every day," Harbaugh said. "You know, the enthusiasm that he brings to it and the strength, that's counsel enough."

O.J. and Chanda have started the Brigance Brigade, a foundation that raises money to help others with ALS. 

The cause of the disease is unknown, but a study released last year did find evidence that professional football players are four times more likely to die from ALS than the general population.

In fact, in the recent landmark NFL settlement on concussions, players with ALS are eligible to receive payments from a $675 million injury compensation fund.

Braver asked, "Do you worry that playing football could have been a cause of this disease?"

"Absolutely," said Harbaugh. "You think about it all the time. I think the players especially think about that, and I think -- and I know the NFL's doing a great job of trying to take the head trauma out of the game as much as they can.  And that's what we should be doing."

As for the Brigances, have they ever thought that football could have contributed to this situation?
"I don't know," said Chanda. "And that's the honest truth. But what I can say is that I am absolutely 100 percent on board with them finding out to see what is causing it."

Meanwhile, O.J. concentrates on his work counseling the Ravens.  And, remarkably, he's also managed to write his life story, titled, "Strength of a Champion."

"I would spend entire days typing until my eyes were crossed," he said. "And of course there were computer issues.  I thought I had saved my work, only to find out it had been erased and I had to type everything over again."

But then, O.J. Brigance has never been one to give up. These days he communicates with players like star running back Ray Rice, mostly through e-mail.

"It doesn't matter what's being said in it, it's the fact that he took his time to think about me while he's going through his situation, so I think that's a bigger stat than scoring a touchdown," Rice said.
Rice and the rest of the team say the fact that Brigance watches almost every practice, keeps them on their toes.

"He's fully there," said Rice, "and that's just one of the things that shows he's never out -- you can never count him out."

Indeed, last year, after the Ravens won the Super Bowl, he was right there with the team when they made the traditional champions' visit to the White House. 

And Coach Harbaugh says, O.J. Brigance will always be the Raven's secret weapon.

"People don't think of football teams as warm and cuddly," said Braver, "as places that nurture people in this kind of way."

"Sure, Sunday afternoon is sort of a battle," said Harbaugh, "and yet, I think the thing that O.J.'s brought to it is that there's a place for love in everything and every place."

Even football? "Even football.  I think that's what O.J. makes kind of obvious."

For more info:
  
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/oj-brigance-quitting-is-never-an-option/    Ret. 12-1-13

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Being Different, Miss America Contestants

We know who won the Miss America Pageant last night.  From the pageant come several topics for reflection.

 1) More obvious differences existed among the contestants.  Four accomplished women, who were “different” in various ways made it to the pageant and competed in front of America.  All of the contestants had to have grit, confidence, intelligence, perseverance, talent, and goals set and attained.  See the first article excerpt below.

2) Miss America, Nina Davuluri, is the first winner of Indian descent.  Highly accomplished, she was immediately “bullied” or criticized online because of her ethnicity. 

This is America.  What should or does that mean regarding the future of young or old?  What do we teach all youth about criticizing or bullying others who are "different"?  Is being different a reason to quit? 

Mentors rise far above the differences in youths or their families.  Consistently, they build a relationship, find the mentees’ spark, listen, teach goal-setting and goal-reaching, overcome low self-esteem and provide steady encouragement for mentees to be the best of themselves. 

These two articles relating to the pageant offer discussion topics about being different, overcoming self, bullying, prejudice, confidence, personality, achieving in spite of obstacles...

Tattoos to Tourette's: Four Miss America hopefuls to watch
Danika Fears, Sep. 13, 2013 at 10:41 AM 

Excerpt:  "A med school hopeful who has battled with bulimia.  An Army soldier with tattoos.  A 20-year-old with Tourette syndrome.  A vocalist born without her left forearm."  

http://www.today.com/style/tattoos-tourettes-four-miss-america-hopefuls-watch-8C11138502                 
Reuters:  Miss Kansas, Miss New York, Miss Iowa

Miss America crowns 1st winner of Indian descent
By CNN Staff
11:31 AM EDT, Mon September 16, 2013

http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/16/showbiz/miss-america-racist-reactions/

Monday, September 16, 2013

Being Different, Clumsiness

Childhood can be painful if a youth is not comfortable in his or her own body.  We usually grow out of many things we perceive as different or become comfortable with them.  For example, the Dove commercials and an increasing number of popular plus-sized models (size 12+) are helping women appreciate their own beauty in many shapes and sizes. Comparing ourselves with others is never productive. 

Although practice can "make" perfect, not everyone is wired the same.  Awkwardness or clumsiness may or may not be outgrown.  Do you know someone awkward or clumsy?  Note Savannah Guthrie's discovery. 

Savannah is a not only the co-host of the Today Show, but she is an accomplished journalist and lawyer.  Clumsy or not, she has achieved. 

Are Some People (like Savannah) Naturally Clumsy? 

TODAY   July 25, 2013

Clumsy is not all in your head, science says, and researchers are studying why it happens to certain people. Notoriously accident-prone Savannah Guthrie heads to the University of Delaware to get some answers about whether she was born to be uncoordinated.


http://www.today.com/video/today/52574524#52574524     Ret. 9-12-13

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Richie Parker: Drive -- SC Featured, ESPN

Being resilient trumps being different every time.

To inspire anyone...


Richie Parker: Drive--SC Featured, ESPN

Published on Jul 22, 2013
Tom Rinaldi reports on the life of Richie Parker, who overcame being born without arms to become a chassis and body component designer for Hendrick Motorsports.
Richie Parker (R), sunjournal.com


Favorite quote:
"There isn't anything I can't do, there are only things I haven't done yet. . ."   Richie Parker


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Family Meetings

Mentoring conferences and workshops remind us that we often must work holistically at varying degrees with schools and/or families. 

Two blogs discuss family meetings, and several illustrate how to build and reinforce resilience

'Definitely worth the time to read and reflect!

http://sounddiscipline.wordpress.com/, a blog by Jody McVittie, M.D., Executive Director, Sound Discipline

Jody McVittie, M.D.
Note:
While in Seattle, I listened to a lunch discussion with Jody McVittie, M.D., and then had the fortune to chat with her as she transported me after the mentoring conference to the waterfront.  Subsequently, I reviewed the Sound Discipline website, from which I will blog excerpts in the future. 


Beginning Family Meetings
One of the most treasured books in my library is the collection of notes we took at family meetings. It is an archive of family history. To some it might look like a list of problems: the kids grieving about something that we did as parents, the problem of how chores would get done (over and over again), or one kid complaining his or her sibling. But what I see when I look at the book is handwriting that grows up, art that the scribe put on the page while they were patiently waiting for the meeting to proceed and a story of how our family learned to live together using meetings as a regular routine: a small sanctuary in our life to share genuine appreciations, to celebrate, plan, and solve problems respectfully.IMG_1845
I won’t claim that my kids loved family meetings. As teenagers there were regular protestations over this kind of weird thing our family did. On the other hand, they would come home from visiting friends and say things like, “That family needs family meetings.”
Why have them? Because the regular routine of family meetings creates connection, a sense of family and teaches problem solving, courage, resilience, responsibility, conflict skills. Family meetings give your children a voice and teach everyone accountability.
What does it look like? A family meeting is a regular (once a week) gathering of the family that follows a regular format.:
Compliments- Each person gives everyone including themselves a compliment.
Problem Solving- The family finds solutions to problems listed on the agenda in advance.
Planning- This involves planning some kind of fun family activity and in our family also involved meal planning and reviewing the events of the coming week.
Are you willing to try? The key to getting started is taking one step at a time. When you first start family meetings start them with one purpose: to learn how to have family meetings. If parents try to teach family meetings and try to get problems solved right away, kids will see family meetings as just another way parents have of manipulating them. You’ve waited a long time to solve these problems. You can wait a few more weeks until your family learns how to do family meetings.
Step 1. Compliments. Eventually you will start each family meeting with each person complimenting or expressing an appreciation for each family member. Compliments set a positive tone and help everyone remember the good things about the week. A compliment or an appreciation is a simple statement like: “I would like to compliment Sara for helping me with my homework yesterday.” Or “Thank you for going on a bike ride with me.” The appropriate response to a compliment is, “Thank you.” Giving compliments may not come naturally at first so parents may need to teach and model compliments.
Hints for compliments:
• If someone cannot think of a compliment for another family member encourage him or her to ask the family member what he or she would like to be complimented for.
• If a parent (or other family member) senses that a compliment is a jab disguised as a compliment ask the compliment giver to rephrase the compliment so it is helpful not hurtful.
Practice: Once a week (or more often for practice), at a family meal, have each person compliment every other person in the family and share something about themselves that they would like to acknowledge.

Beginning Family Meetings – Part 2
Contibuted by Jody McVittie, MD
You’ve been courageous to start something new. You’ve done a couple weeks of compliments at the dinner table or another time and now you’ll add some structure.
There are two projects for this week:
1) Have a short family meeting (15 minutes) in which everyone gives compliments and together you plan a short family activity.
2) Do the family activity.

The meeting Set aside a more intentional time (after dinner or after breakfast on a weekend) to gather for your meeting.
Give compliments. Everyone gives everyone at the table a compliment (including themselves.)
Plan a family activity. Ask your family to plan something that you can all do together that lasts somewhere between 10 and 30 minutes.
Ideas might include:
• Family games: board games, card games, charades, hide and seek.
• Family outings: walk around the block, a trip to the park, an outdoor scavenger hunt, going out for ice cream.
• Family activities: movies, cooking together, making dessert together, or attending events.
Hints: 
• Let the kids lead this. Ask them to start with something short (10-20 minutes) in which everyone can participate. As your family gets better at playing or doing things together you can stretch the time frame. It is better to have a short success than a long failure.
• Keep it affordable and something that can be enjoyed by all in the family
Right away you might notice that this is harder. Not everyone wants to do the same thing! You won’t be the first family who has struggled with this. Together you can find a creative solution. Think about what is important from the child’s point of view.
• It has to be fair. (That doesn’t mean equal.)
• It is helpful if it doesn’t seem like the parent has a bias: better to use flipping a coin or drawing straws than have the parent influence the decision.
• Ideas other families have used: taking turns, drawing straws, flipping a coin, making a rainy day and a sunny day list, or rotating who picks the activity.
The activity When the time comes for the family activity aim for connection and fun. It may not go as planned. It may not meet your expectations. We are aiming for small steps.


Sound Discipline works with schools, educator, parents and caregivers.
http://www.sounddiscipline.org/

Thursday, January 17, 2013

U.S. Supreme Court Justice: Mentor/Mentee Topic?

After listening to all the wonderful reasons why 35 Oklahoma mentoring organizations of all types--school-based, community-based, faith-based and corporate-based--chose their Mentors of the Year for Oklahoma Mentoring Day at the State Capitol, January 16, 2013, I knew our mentoring blog would be featuring each of them over the next few months.

This morning, however, I listened to this interview about the success of a woman, who had a difficult childhood.  We all face challenges; the choices we make determine the outcome.  Having so many positive role models helps. 

A formal pose from waist up of a smiling, light-medium-skinned woman with somewhat curly black hair of almost shoulder length, dressed in a black judicial robe and standing behind a chair with hands folded on the chair, in formal-looking room with medium brown wood paneling and a bit of painting on a wall.

"Sonia Sotomayor opens up about tough childhood"
Retrieved 1-15-13